If you apply this single concept, you will become attractive to everyone. You likely know the answer without realising.

I came across it by accident. Everyone I found likable had used this [which is] and didn’t even know they were doing it.

I was talking to a guy I met at a TEDx event. I thought this guy was fantastic, so I tried to understand why.

In the process, I couldn’t find a single reason. Here is what I did find.
After speaking with him, I felt fantastic about the impression I must have made. I sounded smart; I was confident, and I seemed interesting.

There it was. I had found the string, and a gentle pull unravelled a similar history. Everyone I found likable had nothing to do with them. Instead, it had everything to do with me and how I felt about myself.

If you want to be more attractive to everyone you meet, you must work to make them more attractive.

It begins with the other person

When someone is shy and reserved, find a way to bring them out instead of compacting them with your confidence.

Instead of proving your intelligence through complex conversation, navigate to a topic that lets them shine. You’ll even learn much more in the process; because we can only learn when we aren’t talking.

Swap advertising your achievements with congratulating theirs. Very few people care about what we have accomplished. Our accomplishments are a reminder of another person’s deficiencies. This is just how our brains interpret it. Turn the spotlight on them – let the other person have the front page advertisement in your conversation.

I have talked with confident, smart and successful people. But these are never the people I’ve been drawn towards. Instead, it was the people who made me feel confident, smart and successful.

Becoming more attractive is like selling ice to an Eskimo. You’re not selling yourself to the other person; you’re selling the other person to themselves. You make yourself more attractive by making the other person more attractive.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou