It’s not what you do but what you don’t do that makes people like you.
Let’s say you take your spouse out for dinner, spoil them with your attention or surprise them with wonderful gifts. How much is it all worth?
A single disagreement.
It takes five good experiences to get rid of a single bad one.[1]
If you want a better relationship, don’t worry about the good things – instead, eliminate the bad.
Your brain is wired to focus on what’s wrong. Why? If your ancestors found some fruit, it’s a good day. If they missed that snake in the grass, it’s no more days.
You will find that the strongest relationships are invisible because it’s not the flowers, dinner dates or holidays that make the difference. It’s what you don’t see – two people working together to keep the bad out of each others lives.
If you want a good relationship, start with the bad.
